The 2nd Annual 10 Softest Niggas In The Game

Yeah at the rate that these wack niggas is fallin from the sky who can really wait a whole year n shit son? Whattup yalls. P-Tone aka the Mighty Fists of Hercules is back in the buildin nahmean. Welcome to the 2nd Annual Softest Niggas In The Game countdown yall. To keep this shit fair I aint gon mention no niggas from the first time around n shit. So now that we got the formalities out the way lets get into this shit. Word.
10. Lupe Fiasco
Ayo before Lasers son was jus ya typical above average sorta corny semi fruity but definitely lyrical ass rapper nahmean. He wasnt like the most incredible nigga breathin or nothin like that but son was still kinda nice namsayin. Then the niggas label started playin games wit his mind n shit…n long story short…he decided what he was gon do was make the lost C&C Music Factory album or some shit. You can feel feathers flyin out the speakers when those songs is playin son. This nigga makin seem like DMX yo. Lupe more delicate than paper panties rite now namsayin. If that snow nigga Tobey Maguire started rappin tomorrow Im pretty sure his album would sound a lot like Lasers yo. But the little homie probably gon bounce back from that corny shit when he drop FNL 2. Word is bond. Thats why he at the bottom of this list n shit. But til then I aint givin a frozen fuck bout this nigga.
9. J Cole
Its too bad yo cos son started out kinda ill nahmean. He still got potential but niggas aint jus gon 1) wait forever for son to come up wit a single that aint trash so that his label can finally greenlight his album n 2) let this nigga slowly transform into the nex Drizzy…like we aint noticin that bullshit. Let me make this clear tho…son IS NOT wack. But he IS softer than babys breath namsayin. I dont think theres ever been a nigga that talked bout all the shit he had to overcome on so many different songs namsayin. This nigga jus dont stop havin that chip on his shoulder. I dont mean like how M.O.P. got chips on they shoulders tho….I mean like how ya girl wanna have a serious talk bout her feelings 5 minutes into game 7 chip on his shoulder. Son is bitter yo. What the fuck you so mad bout son? Like all ya stars aint already aligned n shit. I hate a emotional ass nigga. Sons only a few music note tattoos away from bein a full blown bitch yo. But like I said he a talented little nigga so hopefully he stops actin like a human tampon n learns to lighten up. Cos I wanna see son do good forreal nahmean.
8. T.I.
This aint 2005 g. This nigga is a whole different animal rite now. Paper Trail was actually cool but sons been goin downhill ey since that time yall. Maybe thats got to do wit the some the lame moves he made after he got outta jail. Lets jus face summa these facts tho. No Mercy was audio nyquil son. If you listen close you could actually hear snoring in the background through all those songs n shit b. Nigga give the Crime Stoppers shit a rest….stop gettin knocked for stupid shit….stop weepin in courtrooms…stop tryin to get niggas to rock that Akoo bullshit….n jus make another What You Know. N please yo…no more of these “inspirational” joints when you get released again g. We get it yo. Cmon Clifford. Either chill wit all that progesterone shit or jus hop into your little cloud car n drive ya ass back to Care-a-lot n leave rap alone til ya manhood re-emerges or some shit nahmean.
7. B.oB.
Son I wanna make it real clear that I dont hate this nigga. But he still soft as fuck yo. This that nigga that you see in the classroom carvin hearts wit arrows goin thru em on his desk. Son probably rocks cereal jewelry. I think that he be wantin to prove that he aint actually that tender tho namsayin. So he tried to get some beef to pop off wit that Tyler the Creator nigga. Thats like bein at a new school n wantin to show the other kids that you aint no bitch nigga so you go stomp some kid from the special ed class. I jus cant condone this niggas actions b. Like I said tho Tone aint got no hatred for this dude…but he really do seem like the type a nigga that would find a wounded butterfly n repair its wing n shit nahmean. Sons a meadow dweller. The nigga probably serenades birds n squirrels namsayin.
6. Puffy
Thanks for Biggie son…..but please get the fuck outta here. Puff is like the nigga at the party that wont go home. Notice the joint was called “Coming Home”….cos the nigga never actually GOES home namsayin. No nigga on the face of the earth has stuck around while doin almost nothin of importance for this long b. I think we was good after No Way Out son. You aint need to drop 4 other full albums after that tho. You coulda left b. Niggas coulda lived without Danity Kane n Ciroc. Son been on W.U.S.H status for a minute namsayin but I aint even frontin on the soft ass eurotrash Cirque du Soleil music he makin. Sons on this list cos his moistness levels has been percolatin like a muthafucka. This niggas blood is almost all champagne now. That might sound like some fly shit but you can see what the actual results is yaself namsayin.
5. Swizz Beatz
Aka Snoop Budden. Aka the rap Pau Gasol. Aka the McRib of hip hop. Aka the human yeast infection. Get this niggas dusty ass the fuck outta here already. Son cant contain his softness. The niggas favorite color is rainbow. The nigga only has two facial expressions: Jus been raped or bout to rape somebody. The nigga always either looks like he bout to violate a broad/nigga or he looks like the picture on a missing dog poster. This nigga made the same beat for the first 4 years of his career son. Now he jus the only nigga alive tryin to duplicate Diddy Dirty Money. Get him the fuck outta here.
4. Chris Breezy Brown aka Young Ike Turner aka the most emotional nigga alive aka FUCK THIS NIGGAS LIFE.
I kno son aint a rapper…but how many these niggas really is anyway? The nigga coulda easily been #1 on the list but the competition kinda stiff (pause) these days yo. Son looks like he closes his eyes when he brushes his teeth nahmean. This is the type a nigga that wraps his mouth on the outside of the bottle when he has a beer. I hate this soft serve nigga wit my entire heart (pause) son. Get this pantyhose hearted nigga out my site b.
3. Mac Miller
If Hobbits rapped this is what they shit would sound like. I cant believe niggas actually listen to this toothpaste niggas music yo. Forreal forreal. This dude wrestles kittens yo. Son probably owns a giga pet namsayin. If you slapped  this dude it would probably sound like glass breakin. Son celebrated when the wicked witch got the house dropped on her b. Son probably lives in a mushshroom or some shit. Somebody needs to pour this milk dud midget muthafucka back into his Aveeno bottle n throw that shit into the ocean.
2. Yung Berg
Ayo this nigga dodged a bullet on the last list g. But only cos I forgot he existed n shit nahmean. But sons been makin all these power fails n gettin hisself back into the public eye n whatever. Son is the worst kind a soft nigga cos he dont even kno he soft nahmean. If reincarnation was real this nigga would come back as play doh son. Real talk. Son makes you wanna beat the porridge outta him. Thats why this nigga gets slapped at least twice a week yo. If you cant remember the punchline to a joke all you gotta say is “Yung Berg” n you gon get the same laughs anyway nahmean. Somebody needs to douche this niggas entire life son.
1. Aubrey
Aka the Ryan Seacrest of rap. Son is the safest nigga on earth. This the type a NAHGGER that old rich white men try to set up wit they daughters n shit. This nigga wasnt born yo….he was blossomed. When he aint startin pillow fights on tour n pollinatin flowers n shit son stays spittin wit that tenderized Stephen Hawking voice. The niggas heart got a ponytail. Son could probably make you any origami animal you ask him to namsayin. He the type a nigga to sprinkle rose pedals on his bed before he go to sleep n shit. Son could probably frost a cake usin his eyes nahmean. This niggas moms n pops basically got Rick Rolled when the doctor said “Its a boy!” But it aint like Tone wanna see the nigga get torn to pieces by a pack a wolves n shit. If I seen him would the god wanna beat the garnier fructis outta him? I dont kno b. Maybe?
By the way the homegirl @FeFeGirlWonder on twitter mighta said it best when she told me Aubrey was a pre-cum baby. Word.
Aight peace.

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  1. Ms. Rambo says:

    This shit had me rollin so hard… If you read it aloud it will have you saying some funny shit that would never come ocha mouth… Ahh, man, I need to breath n shit. Its the PR in me so pardon Nige, but you should record yourself saying this shit B. Fuck Tosh.0, this 3890897 times better & that’s just reading it! Yo, it’d be easy. Think on it! See ya around.

  2. this joint had me weak keep it commin! lmfao

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