TREATED: MATT CRUSHES STUPID HATEBLOGGER BITCH

MY GUYS TOLD ME MY HOMIE MATT FROM KILLHANNAH WENT IN ON THIS HATER AND HERE IT IS. ITS AMAZING

The BEST Kill Hannah HATE VIDEO EVER.

It’s not great because of it’s creativity, it’s great because of it’s efficiency. Only a minute long, yet she manages to touch on all the essential bullet points; mainly, we suck, and we are gay.

All you aspiring haters, take notes. Class is in session:

I’ve generously transcribed her argument verbatim, deconstructed and put into outline form.

PART I: Call to Action. Mission Statement.

“I really hate the band Kill Hannah.

That fuckin’ … faggot.. in… the… the singer.

I just can not stand him.

He’s not real.

He’s so, like, prefabricated and.. “

This opening salvo is refreshingly succinct. She forgoes all the conventional niceties, such as a personal salutation, and gets right down to immediate business, putting her best foot forward.

The agenda is unambiguous: Clearly she has taken issue with my band, and in particular, me. She finds my image to be alarmingly contrived and disingenuous, and this is a legitimate cause for concern. She also expresses a strong disdain for homosexuals, of which, she is certain I am one.

PART II: Body

“I don’t know, they’re just… bleh!

-And, like, my roommate is obsessed with them!

He, like, loves them. He goes to their shows and everything, and i’m just like,

‘Cool. I’m glad you’re obsessed with a fag band.’ “

Here, in classic textbook form, she expands upon the general sentiments asserted to in the introduction.

Then, in a stroke of genius, she baits the audience by citing an example of someone who, to the contrary, is surprisingly NOT disgusted by my music (her roommate), only to cut him down with a clever sarcastic jibe.

Further, her accusations of grotesque homosexuality have developed beyond me, individually, to now encompass the band as a whole.

PART III;

“It’s just kind of like…hehe… Why?

I don’t…

and the.. ugh. No!”

Here she boldly and playfully departs from convention. Having already established and proven her case so cohesively in PARTS I and II, she wisely identifies this as a ripe moment for pure, unrehearsed, lyrical abandon.

Rare, in cold logical discourse, is the chance to truly dance with language, and she seizes the opportunity. The clever use of monosyllables, in this instance, poetically conveys an uncensored, unfiltered passion for her cause.

PART IV; Wrap up

“I don’t understand.

I mean, if anyone likes them, more power to ’em,

I just don’t want to hear about it.

Clear and simple. Thank you.”

Here, we find the elegant conclusion to the monologue, wherein the audience is reminded that, as permitted by the Constitution, all Americans are indeed free to enjoy whichever bands we like, (homosexual or otherwise) -provided it is kindly done so in seclusion.

In one final flash of brilliance, while playfully crossing her lazy eyes, she carefully chooses to finish with the words “Thank You…” -a disarming closing remark, proving that she is as gracious as she is passionate. –a shining example to us all, that even in verbal warfare, you can always have a touch of class.

After studying the footage so closely, I attempted to match her rhythm…

I’d like to encourage you all to spread these videos virally, however you can.

Here’s my first experiment with the audio… The “I Hate Kill Hannah FAG BAND REMIX.”

Enjoy.

TREATED!!!!!

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to TREATED: MATT CRUSHES STUPID HATEBLOGGER BITCH

  1. Joe says:

    too funny.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s